Written by Ismael Jones
Category: NewsFlash Articles
Published: 31 March 2006
Politically Correct About Men
1. He does not have a beer gut; he has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.
2. He is not quiet; he is a CONVERSATIONAL MINIMALIST.
3. He is not stupid; he suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT.
4. He does not get lost; he DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.
5. He is not balding; he is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.
6. He is not a cradle robber; he prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.
7. He does not get falling-down drunk; he becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.
8. He does not act like a total ass; he develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.
9. He is not short; he is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT.
10. He does not constantly talk about cars; HE HAS A VEHICULAR ADDICTION.
11. He is not unsophisticated; he is SOCIALLY MALFORMED.
12. He does not eat like a pig; he suffers from REVERSE BULIMIA.
13. He does not hog the blankets; he is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE.
14. He is not a male chauvinist pig; he has SWINE EMPATHY